Supervisor: Time sheet blah blah
Worker: I can print that [opens program]
Supervisor: How was your weekend [yawns] ?
Worker: My friend broke his neck . . .has to have the same surgery Christopher Reeve had
Supervisor: [pointing] Click there to print
Supervisor: Well, that's too bad [walks away]
It's sad to see people huddled over a box of take out food slurping down lunch while they steal a glance at the internet or, even worse, legitimate work.
A friend relayed this bit from his journal to me. He works in the accounts receivable department at some corporate schlock house:
There were two-month layoffs a while ago. I [my friend] was hoping to be included. It would at least have been something different. But apparently I'm too "vaulable" [sic]. I'm not really valuable - I just do my job. Maybe they thought I would kill myself.
I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind.
Why do men so often wait in a small restroom to use a urinal? Personally, I've never had to urinate that badly outside of a bar, let alone an office.
Q - The most difficult device to operate in an office?
A - A paper towel holder
The term is rarely used in baseball. I hate hearing it from people who don't even understand sports. Even more-so from ultra-sports fanatics. If you're reading this, please put the phrase to rest.
None of the choices presented make sense or are good, despite the insurance representative assuring everyone that the opposite is true. According to them, it's a good thing that coverages are less and premiums are higher because we will be able to take a more active role in our health care management.
Everyone, young or old, is confused and scared in this meeting.
Occasionally I will schedule on a future random date, "fight off boredom".
I am rarely able to do so, and must dismiss the notice.
If you work for the world's best, industry recognized, most awarded waste stacking company, but you don't enjoy stacking waste, you still aren't going to like your job.
Talking about how things used to be - trying to reassure each other that they're still relevant and that the younger generations have it all wrong.
The tough part about summer in an office is smelling guys coming back in from the heat after lunch. Perhaps some showers or a bucket of deodorant would help keep the primal animal stench down.
I was pulled into a video-conference with international clients. After lunch. My lunch did not come with cookies, but this video-conference did. A whole plate of them.
I can't get up and grab one. I'll look like a slob, not only to the bosses in my office, but to our international clients. So far I see little value in this video-conferencing non-sense.
After serving my time, I'm dismissed. An agonizing cookie-less hour passes and the meeting breaks up. Finally. I wait a minute the sneak back into the conference room for my cookie.
[and here's where the recounting takes on a weird science-fiction/fantasy twist]
It was rumored that though Sam was only a ring bearer for a short time he still sailed to the land of the Westernese late in his life. But I will tell you this. I ate that cookie. It was not a rumor.