Regarding speaking tones

Random few people can sing in such a tone to break glass. Sanders, of middle management fame, in the submittal and processing section, can speak in the tone of boring such that drowsiness is quickly induced. At one meeting he spoke uninterrupted for three minutes. I had to spike an adrenaline shot into my heart to stay awake.

Regarding personality tests:

During a team building exercise my group took a personality test at work. Each person was given four letters that identified them. Sanders', [see above] ranking was B-R-N-G.

I notice that conversations can only take place when the conversors are within 5-7 feet of each other. Any further and the participants must yell at each other (and frequently can not hear the other's response). Possibly it's a problem with the office's acoustics? Much like two ships trying to signal on a bobbing ocean. Or like an elderly married couple, feigning deafness to escape another conversation.

Overused on an elevator:

The term "hump-day" is used with seriousness more times than a rational life-loving person would think possible.

How to induce panic on an elevator:

Mention that bad weather is coming during the weekend. Despite weather forecasts being available through countless sources, most people will still be sent into a tither.

Relating to Lord of the Flies

Typically someone huffing (as if the weight of the world rests squarely on their shoulders and no one will acknowledge their sacrifice) doesn't bother me. But put that person next to me in a quiet cubicle for forty five minutes and I'm ready to drop a rock on their head.

Observed habits of one coworker:

Regarding the sustainable design movement:

People are passing around green building articles like we're listening to free radio in occupied Europe

Of monkeys and man:

There is a man sitting across from me who scratches his back with a ruler.

On brevity:

If you say or write "enough said" and truly mean it, there is no need to say or write anything else.

Office Slobbery:

Next to the coffee pot is a puddle of pale liquid along with a plastic knife. The knife was clearly used to stir the four creamers and three sugars into a cup of coffee. The puddle is anyone's guess. Of course, this whole scene is mere inches away from the paper towels.

My opposite:

Much like a prisoner tracking his sentence, I scratch marks into my desk counting down the days to my next day off work. I have a coworker that views holidays as an annoyance - days that deny him the opportunity of doing more work. I believe that if we ever touched, the universe would instantly cease to exist.

The straw:

A friend of mine left his job recently. The reason? An email was sent from the IT department with the subject line "Xerox in da house"

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